How to Bake an Eternal Marriage
I
love to bake!! Cake, cookies, bread, cupcakes, and brownies. I guess
you could say that I have a bit of a sweet tooth. Tonight, I decided
to bake some chocolate chip cookies for my daughter-in-law. I didn’t
have my normal recipe, so I decided to pick one I found online. Let
me just say, the first batch did not turn out well. I realized that
I needed to add more flour. As I did, it brought to mind studying
the talk by President Spencer W. Kickball and the chapter
“Foundational Processes for an Enduring Healthy Marriage”.
As
I learned tonight, not all recipes are the same. The world will try
to tell you that this is “the best” cookie recipe and it might
not turn out the way you want it. The same can be said for marriage.
The world continues to try to sell us on their ideas of marriage,
defining and redefining what is “the best”. The best marriage, I
believe, has been designed by our Heavenly Father. It is when a man
and woman make covenants with each other in the Holy Temple.
So
why did I make this wild comparison to baking cookies. Well, as I
listened to President Kimball’s message, I immediately saw in my
mind a batch of cookies. Here is the quote that bought it to mind.
“There is a
never-failing formula which will guarantee to every couple a happy
and eternal marriage; but like all formulas, the principal
ingredients must not be left out, reduced, or limited. The selection
before courting and then the continued courting after the marriage
process are equally important, but not more important than the
marriage itself, the success of which depends upon the two
individuals—not
upon one, but upon two.” (Kimball,
p. 196) Let’s change the word “formula” to the word “recipe”.
There are vital ingredients needed in a cookie to make it into a
cookie. Sugar, eggs, baking soda, flour, butter, and salt. If one
of these was left out, reduced, or limited in the recipe-you wouldn’t
have a cookie. Marriage, as President Kimball stated, to be
successful requires principle ingredients. What are those? Well, I
think prayer, love, fidelity, trust, friendship, willingness to work,
and concern for the other’s happiness/well-being. President
Kimball also talked about success being not just one person’s
responsibility but both partners. In Chapter 3 of our book, Elder
Bednar had a great quote that talked about the marriage covenant. He
stated “The Lord
Jesus Christ is the focal point in a covenant marriage relationship.
Please notice how the Savior is positioned at the apex of this
triangle, with a woman at the base of one corner and a man at the
base of the other corner. Now consider what happens in the
relationship between the man and the woman as they individually and
steadily “come unto Christ” and strive to be “perfected in Him”
(Moro.
10:32). Because of and through the Redeemer, the man and the
woman come closer together.” I
love the visual of how as we come to Christ on our own as husband and
wife, we then come closer to each other.
Cookies
and marriage are both very sweet things to me. I know that as my
marriage has been put in the oven to bake these past 27 years, my
husband and I have had struggles, joys, trials, and laughter, but so
grateful to have done all these things together. So I encourage you
the reader, to look at your marriage. Is the recipe that the Lord
has given working for you? Have you use the best ingredients for the
best possible outcome? Pray about how you and your spouse can
achieve “the best” in your marriage. Maybe you could sit down
together and talk about it over some cookies and a glass of milk!
References
Hawks, Dollahite, Draper, Successful Marriages and Families, 2016, Brigham Young University, p. 28
Kimball, Spencer W, (2018,June) Honorable,Happy,Successful Marriage,
Retrieved from http://www.churchofjesuschrist.org
