Tuesday, June 11, 2019

They are Not Lost


 They Are Not Lost


On a beautiful August morning, almost 28 years ago, Tyler Craner picked me up and we drove two and a half hours to the Oakland Temple.  We were so excited to start our eternal family. 


Time passed and children began to enter the picture. I was so excited to have a boy, then another boy and another boy again.  Three amazing young men to raise in righteousness.  When my boys were little, we would have a family devotional every night.  We'd sing primary songs, learn articles of faith, read scripture and say prayers.  The boys loved it.  As they got older, we would have family home evenings, family prayer and scripture study.  One family home evening I loved the best was when both sets of grandparents came and we talked about the plan of salvation.  Each room in our house we talked about different parts, and when we got to the other side of the veil to live with our families forever, my parents and Tyler's parents were waiting in our living room.  Jacob couldn't believe it.

Then my oldest, at age 14, started to pull away from us.  He didn't want to go to church anymore.  He said he didn't believe in God anymore.  He told us we were delusional for thinking and believing the way we did.  It broke my heart.  I had done everything I thought God wanted me to do? Why wouldn't he believe?

In Chapter 16 of our Family 100 course material titled "They Cannot be Lost: Temple Covenants Save Families", a question is posed that sounded a lot like the ones I had been struggling with.  "Why doesn't the Lord send an angel to my children as he did Alma the Younger? Why aren't my prayers being answered? Doesn't the Lord love me or my children as much as he did Alma and his child?"(Hawkins, pg. 173)  I am not quite sure why Heavenly Father chose to let my children fall away?

I have learned a great deal as I watched not one but two of my three sons, leave the church.  I can't begin to express what a failure as a mother I felt.  Yet, through these years of experiences, my Heavenly Father has taught me a great deal about his plan.  He has taught me about what real love is.  He has given me hope!

President James E. Faust stated "Perhaps in this life we are not given to fully understand how enduring the sealing cords of righteous parents are to their children.  It may well be that there are more helpful sources at work than we know.  I believe that there is a strong familial pull as the influence of beloved ancestors continues from the other side of the veil. To those brokenhearted parents who have been righteous, diligent, and prayerful in the teaching of their disobedient children, we say to you, the Good Shepherd is watching over them.  God knows and understands your deep sorrow.  There is Hope."

My two oldest boys still don't go to church, but my focus is to love them.  I will always share my testimony of Jesus Christ, live to be a good example, and hope that they will one day believe.  I truly believe that the Good Shepherd is watching over them, and me too.  What a gift to have this knowledge.  It brings comfort and peace.


Hawkins, A., Dollahite,D., & Draper, T., (2016), Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, Brigham Young University, pg. 173-174

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