We all know how the fairy tale begins with meeting the person of our dreams, falling in love, and getting married. With the hopes of living happily ever after, only to find that the reality is that married life isn't a Fairy Tale. Marriage is hard work. So this blog is dedicated to my son Austin and his new bride Mariana who were married yesterday.
I was thinking during the ceremony, what kind of advice can I give this newly married couple to start them on the path to a Warm and Happy Marriage? So I went around to all the family members and asked them what advice they would share with them. So here's the list:
Never go to bed angry-stay up and fight
Continue dating
Never use the word
“divorce” to threaten or in a fight.
Forgive each other
go to church with
each other
don’t put holes in
the wall or doors
be the first to say "I'm Sorry"
have fun together
stick it out and
don’t sweat the small stuff
The last piece of advice came from your Grandmother Barbara. It reminded me of a great quote from the Successful Marriage course manual. It states "Research confirms that a marriage realistic expectations as opposed to fantasy manages to satisfy the deep,human need for emotional and physical closeness throughout life's ups and downs. "Committed couples hunker down and stay the course together", writes prolific researcher Scott Stanley." (Hawkins, p. 72)
The Family: A Proclamation to the World states "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children."
My advice for you is take time each day to say or do something to show your love for each other. Your father and I have found ways to share our love in small ways. Leaving notes to say I love you!, sending a text, doing the dishes, folding the laundry, or going out on a cheap date.
This first year of married life is always an adjustment. Remember all the reasons you chose each other. Breathe. The person to be loved is more important than the problem to be solved. We love you and Congratulations on
your wedding day!
References:
Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2016), Successful Marriages and Families Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, Provo,Utah, BYU Studies
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